I believe in you

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Vulnerability and strength, two words not commonly associated with each other until recent years. Vulnerability tends to be perceived as weakness rather than strength.  And how often have I had to remind myself in the candid moments, in the times when being true to myself seemed a betrayal, when the tears flowed and the heart broke, when my vulnerability was exposed… that it was strength that brought me here, and it would carry me through… as it always will.

Those moments when friends around me were inspired, so they said, by my courage and incisiveness, to which I wanted to reply, “can you see how vulnerable I feel?” At last, only to realise perhaps that was what they saw… the strength was the vulnerability being carried ever so lightly.

Trust and patience, perhaps a less uncommon pairing.  Words easily spouted but how do we trust? When the distractions, the temptations, the greener grass is always on the other side, beckoning and making promises… Can we be patient? Can we be at peace with what arrives or returns? To know that I am worthy and enough, is a first step. Self-assured that I am complete, and will be so even if the trust is misguided, the patience runs out.

And ultimately, love.  To be vulnerable enough to let another in and to reach out to another, to trust that we will be held with care, kindness and gentle strength in return. To be trustworthy and patient in the face of challenges that threaten the peace…

So, the lyrics to the recently released Michael Buble song ‘I believe in you‘ and the music video. Enjoy!

Time goes by and I’ve been holding everything inside
But now I’ve got nothin’ left to hide
When I’m with you, oh, you
But I can see, how strong a man I’m going to have to be
To do for you it comes so naturally
So will you move

And all I want
Is a chance to prove Show all I can do

I believe in starting over
I can see that your heart is true
I believe in good things coming back to you
You’re the light that lifts me higher
So bright you got me through
I believe in you

And I don’t mind
If you want to hold on to me tight
You don’t have to sleep alone tonight If you don’t want to

And all I want
Is to know you’re near
You’re all I need, yeah

Time goes by and I’ve been holding everything inside
But now I’ve got nothin’ left to hide
When I’m with you, oh, you
But I can see, how strong a man I’m going to have to be
To do for you it comes so naturally
So will you move

And all I want
Is a chance to prove Show all I can do

I believe in starting over
I can see that your heart is true
I believe in good things coming back to you
You’re the light that lifts me higher
So bright you got me through
I believe in you

And I don’t mind
If you want to hold on to me tight
You don’t have to sleep alone tonight If you don’t want to

And all I want
Is to know you’re near
You’re all I need, yeah

I believe in starting over
I can see that your heart is true
I believe in good things coming back to you
You’re the light that lifts me higher
So bright you got me through
I believe in you
I believe in you
You got me through
I believe in you

 

~ FlorenceT

© 2016 FlorenceT Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

Words on fear and doubt

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Some of you may know this of me, that I find comfort and inspiration in words.

So here are some words I have gathered around me this past weeks on my little trip of introspection and reflection.

I hope these words take you on a little side-trip to new territory, or re-visit familiar places of comfort and joy.

To doubt everything or to believe everything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the necessity of reflection.  ~ Henri Poincare

How often have we been told to not doubt? This I believe, that to be open to possibilities, to be adaptable and responsive to our world require a healthy dose of doubt. It is the tiny cracks appearing on the polished facade of certainty and perfection – it adds character and invites closer attention. Don’t you think?

There lives more faith in honest doubt, believe me, than in half the creeds.  ~ Alfred Tennyson

And to moving on in spite of doubt, or maybe because of it, suggests to me greater belief and faith in our selves, our relationships, our humanity. We don’t need guarantees of safety to venture out into the world. There is no absolute solution, no certainty –  only faith and perspectives.

Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.  ~ Helen Keller

Our fear of what could go wrong, our doubt of what could go right… feel somewhat dangerous; they threaten our sense of self, our identity in the world. Yet it is only dangerous and threatening if we strive to hold onto what is, or to the ‘greater what could be’. Life is fluid; and if we approach with a ‘come what may’ attitude and a little confidence that we are enough to meet the future, all is well. Perspective again.

To be courageous, is not necessarily to go anywhere or do anything except to make conscious those things we already feel deeply and then to live through the unending vulnerabilities of those consequences.  ~ David Whyte

There is strength in our fear and doubt, to be with our vulnerabilities requires more than avoiding or confronting. At times, avoiding or confronting is what’s needed to cope and to survive. The calling remains, that we acknowledge and be with our vulnerabilities, our imperfections… in them, we become strength, courage, love, grace and gratitude.

And in the end, to fully know ourselves is impossible. We fear and doubt, and if we have courage to seek, we encounter the truth of each moment. And as we know, that which we know changes; our very knowing shifts us into constant becoming.

What I have learnt and continue to practice is, to stand in the midst of the ever-changing landscape on the firm ground of this moment, being present here and doing what is ‘right’ now. Whatever or whoever visits, I will open the door with curiosity. Whatever happens, happens.

Namaste!

~ FlorenceT

Strong enough

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This is part of Friday Fiction with RonovanWrites, in which this week we are challenged to write a piece of fiction inspired by a favourite song. I have no idea if poetry qualifies… nonetheless here it is.

 

purple horizon

And of course, the song is ‘Strong Enough’ by Cher. Yes, a bit of a throwback from 1998 🙂

Would you still love me the same?

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My previous post is a poem of assurance, perhaps a response to questions asked, to confirmation we seek from the ones we love… do you really love me? how much? how long? will you stand by me no matter what? will you be for me? will you catch me if I fall?

I know my children feel secure in the knowledge that I will be for them, no matter what. Yet, how I will may not agree with how they would like me to be nor how they think I would be… so perhaps I am only for them in my desire, my knowing and my ways.

Perhaps at some point, we realise we have always been on our own. Like children learning they can be without their parents, independent. Then we realise the strengths and courage that are within us all along, even when we thought we are only made strong by the presence of others in our lives. Others guide, they demonstrate, they model, they reflect… as they live… we do the same. It is only ourselves that will live our lives.

Each time we look in the mirror, see the people who have come before us, who have also live their lives, those we emulate or learn from. Know that each of us is where we are because we make decisions and choices to be here in our human experience, with the resources we have within us. We do the best we can.

And this post just because I heard this song… 🙂

– FlorenceT

© 2015 Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

Positivity is change

Ripples
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If we are 100% certain everything will remain as is then there is no need for positivity, or negativity for the matter.  If ‘things’ are great now, then it’s fait accompli.  The same for the so-called ‘bad stuff’.  Realistically, there are few things that are truly ‘bad stuff’, rather perspectives.

Experience is not what happens to you – it’s how you interpret what happens to you.   Aldous Huxley

Life is dynamic, like the ebb and flow of the moontide, our life smiles at us and it grimaces too.  Life changes. Not just the so-called ‘life-changing’ events but rather, the miniscule changes in our lived moments that in most times we missed until their cumulative effects are finally felt. Such as a simple putting off writing for one day which, as the days go, becomes a habit.  Then the psychological barrier of ‘it’s a habit so it must be difficult to break’.  It is not, just begin a new habit with one day

So it is that we employ tools to deal with change – through thoughts, words and deeds.  We think positive thoughts to lift us, to propel us forth; we re-frame the stories we tell, we encourage; we reward ourselves with a good book, a walk… to improve our sense of wellbeing.

By the way, we cannot manage change. Change is not an object we can manipulate or mould. Even as we grasp hold of what change is, it has changed once again. What we can is choose how we are in the face of change.  And then perhaps we can influence the change in the next moment by having been aware of how we are in the previous moment…

I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.     Anna Freud

Ultimately it is how we respond to change. Your and my responses to change differ, and they differ for the many situations we find ourselves.  Our responses today will also be different from our responses tomorrow for a similar, not the same, situation.  The statistical or scientific illusion of ‘all else being equal’ … well, things are never equal.  We can only measure what we know and can measure. There is a mystery to everything else… how exciting!  But I digress.

Music is the space between the notes.  Claude Debussy

So reflect upon and explore our responses to change:

  1. Do you recognize change as it happens? Are you aware of the ripples in your life? Our body knows, at least it can provide some signals.  Is it the tingling down your spine, the shortness of breath, the tensing of your shoulders, the denial in your mind, the grin on your face, the sigh of relief, the involuntary exclaim… What helps you identify change?
  2. How do you react and why?  Is your initial reaction one of drama, quiet confidence, excitement, dread or …? Is it because we are feeling threatened that we say those hurtful things? Is it because we are happy within ourselves that we can give so freely?  Is it because we are reminded of our past that we re-act intensely to the situation? Is it because we have always had ‘good luck’ that we leap into this?
  3. What choices do you make in response to change? I use the word ‘response’ as opposed to ‘react’ because for me, response comes from awareness. After the initial feeling of doom (a reaction!) and being aware of your ingrained habit of maintaining the status quo, do you follow through with negativity or do you choose to be open to the possibilities?

Away she hurried, not beautiful, not supremely brilliant, but filled with something that took the place of both qualities — something best described as a profound vivacity, a continual and sincere response to all that she encountered in her path through life.   EM Forster

Namaste!
– FlorenceT

© 2015 Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.