Future #Haiku Challenge 165 @RonovanWrites

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RonovanWrites Haiku Challenge 165 with prompt words – Late, Holiday

 

 

 

oh, do not come late
frivolity sand sunshine
holiday, it waits.
~ FlorenceT

 

 

 

© 2017 FlorenceT Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

 

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Contemplating cooking…

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I have been doing quite a bit of cooking lately. Not much of a revelation unless you know me well.

You will know my self-value is not tied to how well I keep house involving cleaning or cooking – I was brought up to place significance and priority on my intellect and academics. Perhaps I am merely not sufficiently interested to do anything intricate or complex beyond the usual day-to-day meals and annual celebratory fare. You may also deduce that circumstances have favoured me not needing to do much house-keeping.

Lately, I have taken to cooking, experimenting and “catering” to my children’s taste buds (when I can). There is joy seeing them enjoying their meals, prepared by moi. And this has left me wondering why.

Am I cooking to fill time? As I don’t have a lot of time on my hands, I can answer this in the negative.

Am I cooking to fill time to avoid something else? A possibility, though I couldn’t think what. There is a certain mindfulness required when I am cooking, where I am “forced” to not think of anything else but the task at hand. Not exactly avoidance, is it? Cooking, and its creative process, is a mindful act and can be satisfying.

So, am I cooking to…?

Sitting here on a Saturday morning making up a shopping list after deciding on a menu for the coming week (yes, it is a creative project 😉 ), a possible answer or answers occurred to me.

I am preparing for my future. Not as a cook, but an empty-nester. It was not o much a plan but on reflection, a response to my life journey.

As my children mature, their taste buds too. So my experimentation serves to expand their world of foods. Most importantly, food inspires conversations of different cuisines, cultures and travels. We discover ourselves and each other in the process. And with aging parents, perhaps it is time for me to pick up this mantle?

Cooking is all about people. Food is maybe the only universal thing that really has the power to bring everyone together. No matter what culture, everywhere around the world, people get together to eat. ~ Guy Fieri

My selfish hope is that when my children leave home, they will continue to be tied to their home of origin and me, so cooking and foods will bring memories filled with nostalgic aromas, of connection and belonging. The soon-to-be adult boy has expressed a desire to explore the world, and said he would take two things with him, his family and his faith. Sweet, isn’t it? 🙂

Food brings people together on many different levels. It’s nourishment of the soul and body; it’s truly love. ~ Giada De Laurentiis

Cooking is also a skill which I have been inspired to master, after hours of conversations on the intimacy of cooking together and the sensual experience of savouring foods. Perhaps a future of quiet company and adventurous samplings.

I think careful cooking is love, don’t you? The loveliest thing you can cook for someone who’s close to you is about as nice a valentine as you can give. ~ Julia Child

Yes, I may have hit upon the reasons for my desire to cook at this juncture of my life. Or are they mere intellectual reasoning?!

Why do you cook?

~ FlorenceT

It is done.

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It is done. I opened them.

I found two boxes in my garage a few weeks ago, brought them into my bedroom and there they sat. Gut instinct said “this is important”. Yet I could not open them. Until I was compelled to on the eve of the review date.

The review date for an application which if it went as planned, I would be on the final step to officially ending a 20-year marriage. After months of waiting, the court would finally get round to reviewing the joint application and hopefully the paperwork would be in order (I am a lawyer after all?). With this, the final countdown of “a month and a day” would begin, culminating in a decree being issued dissolving the marriage.

So… the boxes. They contain years of letters and cards between my ex-husband and I. Now some may think I am a masochist for even venturing to open them. It had been suggested that I should merely…erm…burn them. That wouldn’t be so difficult except it would also mean eradicating a past, a history of 20 years. That I could not do.

He and I did not leave the marriage on bad terms, albeit sad. There were disagreements and mismatched values and priorities. I wouldn’t be who I am today if not for the lessons learned, the overcoming and the achievement. Now, this could be a good thing or a bad one 🙂 though I am not making judgments now.

Opening the boxes and reading through some of the correspondence was enlightening in its own way. Girding my loins, so to speak, to be an observer of the past – of who or what each of us used to be, how we felt and did… and the interactions and navigation of our lives with each other. A reminder that despite that which plagued the marriage, there were indeed good times worthy of remembering and passing on to our children.

The alone time going through the memories served as a ritual.

This is what rituals are for. We do spiritual ceremonies as human beings in order to create a safe resting place for our most complicated feelings of joy or trauma, so that we don’t have to haul those feelings around with us forever, weighing us down. We all need such places of ritual safekeeping. And I do believe that if your culture or tradition doesn’t have the specific ritual you are craving, then you are absolutely permitted to make up a ceremony of your own devising, fixing your own broken-down emotional systems with all the do-it-yourself resourcefulness of a generous plumber/poet.

~ Elizabeth Gilbert, “Eat, Pray, Love”

I grew up in a culture with many rituals and symbols. Rituals for the coming of age, in preparation of a marriage, in celebration of birth, to mourn the passing of life. Most cultures do. And with these rituals are the symbols used – from mandarins to rice buns in the shape of flowers, the colours of white, red and black… I am not aware of a ritual to see the ending of a marital relationship, at least not through positive lens. I do not engage with nor wish to perpetuate the narrative of necessary anger and hurt, prolonged bitterness and blame. I do not wear victimhood well, as my culture (or dare I say, most normative cultures) would wish to foist upon a woman post-divorce.

The opening of these two boxes was my ritual of re-membering into this body the parts which I still wish to be attached to, and of removing the parts which no longer serve me; a psychological and emotional letting go, if you like. It was a ritual to mark a significant event in my life, to not let it pass unnoticed.

Ritual is necessary for us to know anything. ~ Ken Kesey

For as I now realise, there were still lessons to be learned. As I explored paper and ink, I saw a Me which I had forgotten; I marvelled at the transformation and of what is maintained despite the passing of time with its many celebrations and challenges.

My intuition or gut instinct spoke true. This needed doing, and it was good. As has been said of musical rituals, [r]itual instructs not only at the level of intellect…but also at the level of the soul.

I believe the same is true for any type of ritual, as a rite of passage between worlds and arriving firm in one’s own self-identity and prepared for a new role.

And so it is done.

A poem from one of my favourite poets…

FINISTERRE

The road in the end taking the path the sun had taken,
into the western sea, and the moon rising behind you
as you stood where ground turned to ocean: no way
to your future now but the way your shadow could take,
walking before you across water, going where shadows go,
no way to make sense of a world that wouldn’t let you pass
except to call an end to the way you had come,
to take out each frayed letter you had brought
and light their illumined corners; and to read
them as they drifted on the late western light;
to empty your bags; to sort this and to leave that;
to promise what you needed to promise all along,
and to abandon the shoes that brought you here
right at the water’s edge, not because you had given up
but because now, you would find a different way to tread,
and because, through it all, part of you would still walk on,
no matter how, over the waves.

– David Whyte

 

What rituals do you have in your life? To what purpose do they serve? What is your arriving?

 

~ FlorenceT

 

 

© 2017 FlorenceT Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

Fire and Ice – a poem

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fire-ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
~ Robert Frost

 

© 2016 FlorenceT Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

To see possibilities…

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Floating-in-Bliss

What bliss… to be delighted by what is, to be impassioned with what will be; this deeply felt knowing that the world is beautiful in spite of the human condition and perhaps because of it 🙂

Wishing you boundless possibilities!

– FlorenceT

 

© 2015 Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

 

Haiku Challenge 54 Seek your freedom @RonovanWrites

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RonovanWrites Haiku Challenge 54 with prompt words – Free, Think

eagle

Think my dear, you must
The future is yours to grasp
Free your mind to dream,
Soar above the human plight
Where fear doesn’t taint, love must be.

– FlorenceT

 

© 2015 Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

Haiku Challenge 51 @RonovanWrites – Future, Give

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RonovanWrites Haiku Challenge #51 – Future, Give

 

flowers

Future with its gifts
Exhilarating, joyous
Previous loss a blip.

Girl

 Your future is not
A concern, a gift it’s not
I don’t give a toss

– FlorenceT

© 2015 Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.