Note to self

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I believe more in synchronicity than mere coincidence, and who am I to decide one or the other? Perhaps it is both, or neither, or everything in between.

I choose to believe there is meaning and purpose in my life, and to find meaning in its many moments, “meaningful coincidence” (as Carl Jung described synchronicity) resonates. Perhaps it is what Buddhists refer to as noticing and attending to…

Yet the universe speaks…

 

 

Namaste!
~ FlorenceT

It is not what it seems… maybe

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I wrote an email, somewhat scathing in tone, a few days ago. Entirely justified at the time, I thought. I felt I was being unduly taken advantage of, that the prospective recipient of the email was intentionally obstructive and perhaps malicious, at best unthinking and uncaring. Well, I had to defend myself, don’t I? I am entitled, don’t I? And anyone who knew the circumstances would see this and I would be justified in my action.

But no one saw this email. I did not send it.

My tapping away at the keyboard was cathartic, but catharsis could only go so far in making the situation “right”.

Thankfully, one of my habits is to never send an email drafted during an emotional flux.

Taking a large step back from the finished (but then unsent) email, these were what I realised:

  • Obviously, I was emotional. Of its own, perfectly acceptable and normal. But what happened when the emotions took over …
  • I turned inward and my mind took over. My thoughts revealed me at a low ebb – “I was being unduly taken advantage of”? Really? Have I in that one thought buy into a belief that I was a victim? That I had no say in this? Have I in that one thought about to give way my power?
  • Then, the construction of the “baddie” who was “intentionally obstructive”, “malicious”, “unthinking and uncaring”? This is judgment with a capital ‘J’. I’ll grant that my thoughts, being the rational person that I am, could be correct. Or they might not. But in the moments when I was drafting that email, my mind was closed to any other possibility. It was closed such that I (unconsciously) chose not to see an alternate perspective.
  • And really, what did it matter, if she was or was not? I was there to solve a “problem” not to make judgments about another’s motivations. Why would my actions be guided by anything other than respect for another human being, integrity and compassion?
  • Moving forward in a positive manner requires me to maintain a constructive relationship, moving forward requires me to let go of any and all of the history that could bind me, moving forward requires me to be able to look at myself in the mirror and not cringe or feel compelled to be defensive.
  • And that little voice in my head (?) or my heart said, “you are better than this.”

We have been there, this “feeling small” and “feeling helpless” place.

We have imagined the architects of our misery, rubbing their hands in glee with a malicious grin and gloating.

Well, in those moments we have also handed over responsibility for our self to another and blaming them for not looking after or caring or loving us.

So, this story ended with a phone call, expressing my concerns and being open to a response. The response – the words at least – was as I had expected but there was something else. The response was not “intentionally obstructive”, not “malicious”, not “uncaring”, perhaps a little “unthinking”. Okay, I can live with this, for now. And I (or my ego) would like to say that I had modeled an attitude and a behaviour which hopefully encourage reciprocity. Only time will tell.

What matters most to me is that, it felt right, it felt good, as the email if sent would not.

The lessons, which I keep close to me?

  • Be open to different perspectives and possibilities. There is a world beyond our experiences.
  • Proceed with the empowered self. Our words and actions will reflect this.
  • Let go. We can’t control the future.

 

Namaste.

~ FlorenceT

© 2017 FlorenceT Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

Two challenges @RonovanWrites and @greg_wolford

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I am tackling two challenges in this post – Ronovan’s Haiku Prompt Challenge #52 and Greg’s nomination to undertake the Three Day Quote Challenge.

Thanks, Greg (from Pothole in the Road of Life) for the nomination.  Being a quote nerd, I’m going to have fun!

And Ronovan (of RonovanWrites), 52 weeks running the haiku challenge, now that’s tenacity! Thank you for growing this community.

Briefly, here’s how the challenges work:

Ronovan has provided 2 prompt words this week – silent and loud – to be included in a haiku, either the words themselves, their derivatives or synonyms. To find out how to write a haiku and participate, click here.

The Three Day Quote challenge requires me to share my favourite quotes in three consecutive posts.

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 First, the haiku:

poppy_field

Hush now, my darling
Your world’s at peace, beauty lasts
No more roaring doubts.

I feel as if the prompt words were chosen for me, or perhaps it is synchronicity. My focus has been on ‘silence’ quite a lot these past weeks. For me, to learn the lessons of finding meaning in what was unsaid, finding beauty in the in-between spaces, finding grace and strength being silent…because I choose to reflect my growth, to keep growing.  I choose freedom.

And so here is one of my favourite quotes:

brain cell

I envision the ‘space’ as a pause, a vacuum – the silent still place of ‘I am’. Only when I am ready will I respond. Therein lay the power I have reclaimed.

I wish for you space to contemplate this quote.

– FlorenceT

 

First image ‘Poppy Field’ by ale2xan2dra

© 2015 Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

I can… it is done #BeWow

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be-wow-bloggerWell, I kept the promise to myself to meditate for 30 minutes every day for the month of May. Mid-way through this Mindful in May challenge, I decided to extend myself to meditating morning and night.

For a long time now, I have dabbled with meditation, knowing full well its positive impact on my day, to my sense of well-being.  But life is too busy to commit 30 minutes in quiet and stillness. So in effect, I opted to travel my day potentially with a frazzled mind, a listless spirit and a weary body.  30 mins or 24 hours? No brainer, right?

So beyond the wonders of mindfulness meditation, what have I learnt? That if I am given a challenge and should I accept, I stick to it. I keep promises.

accept changeThe issue is one of accepting the challenge.  Perhaps it is the same for most of us, it is rarely ‘I can’t’, in terms of ability or skills or talents; it is usually ‘I won’t’ whether we are aware of this or whether the unwillingness resides in our subconscious.  We ‘see’ obstacles as a way of resisting the change that is already happening, we refuse to accept that we are capable, powerful – that we have authority over our lives. We can if we are willing. Take heart. You are courage.

To what will you say ‘yes, I accept’?  And when?

Namaste
– FlorenceT

 

© 2015 Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

 

Phenomenal Woman #MayaAngelou

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Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palms of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

 

I hope you are inspired.

With much respect
– FlorenceT

 

© 2015 Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

Love’s definition

love words
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What is love?

My intellectual and philosophical mind says, “depends on what you mean by ‘love’”. What love is is esoteric and undefinable – at least not comprehensively definable. What would become of the mystery, excitement, thrill, fun, joy… if love is objectively definable.

When we speak of love on a human level, it is necessarily an expression towards another subject or object. The continuum of ‘I love candy’ to ‘I love you till the end of life’… 🙂 Love is subjectively definable, if the many love quotes we find on the internet are any indication; they express how one person perceives love. So, some of these quotes speak to me and others don’t.

Why one quote may resonate with me while another doesn’t is perhaps because that is how I perceive love. It is most likely also my default way of expressing love. If I value words, then when I need to express my love, words I will use. Well, I am a ‘deeds’ person – I value the deed one does. This is different from mere doing for the sake of doing, mindlessly, thoughtlessly and meaninglessly. Deeds in this context include elements of intention and attention – for the other.

Let me simplify. If you love someone, show them; and show them through ways they would appreciate or perceive so they will experience your love.

If someone feels loved through receiving, then give him a gift. A little love-note perhaps? If someone feels loved through touch, then lots of hugs for her. The ultimate is for the other to experience your love, not about you showing your love your way.

I have been doing love deeds in the last few days – creating a sense of security and safety for the ones I love, being with and sharing in their excitement, holding them in spirit as they create, as they spread their wings.

I suspect I get something out of doing the love deeds too – which does not undermine the love being expressed. I am not selfless. A thought, who can be selfless? Is selfless something to strive for? A topic for another time…

I must admit, I am not infallible. I can be downright insensitive and ‘oblivious’.  And doing some deeds can take more energy especially if I have to step outside my usual ‘default’ mode. Say, if I am a deeds person, and he is a words person, then soothing words might not be as comfortable as making cups of tea 🙂  Yet my attention is on him and do these love deeds with intention. I try. I know I could do different, I could do better perhaps, who is to say. But I am doing my best and for me, that is enough.The wonders of a loving relationship is the understanding and trust that they are doing their best with us in mind.

So, what is love? I have rambled and no closer to an answer. Perhaps love changes depending on the other and your inter-actions. I suspect its definition will always remain elusive.

Here is a quote to end:

Love and music

– FlorenceT

 

© 2015 Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

50 Shades – Storm in a Teacup a Woman’s Thoughts by @FTThum

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A different view on Fifty Shades of Grey…

Lit World Interviews

50 shades of grey

I asked Florence to write a piece about 50 Shades of Grey since she had both read the books and seen the movie. With her therapist and lawyer/professor background I thought it would an interesting and intelligent experience for us all. Did it turn out as I expected? Read and find out. If you dare. If I were you, I might hide.~Ronovan

Fifty Shades of Grey (’50 Shades’) – trilogy and movie – have caused quite a storm in the media. Its critics have labelled it anti-feminist, for glorifying abuse and violence, for normalising domestic violence, and the list goes on.

In the wake of socio-political discourses rippling through social and news media, I (and eleven gal pals) went to see it on the second day after it was released.

50ShadesofGreyCoverArt

The story in a nut shell

A little about the trilogy and the movie for those who have not read…

View original post 1,670 more words

A perspective – there is no normal

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On a door in a house…

Door

Close up of some of the quotes:

Door 1

Door 2

Door 3

Door 4

Door 5

Door 6

So, what’s your initial reaction to the quotes?

Stop and then, what do you think of the messages?

What impression does the person who stuck these on the wall leave with you?

Wishing you good fun and joy,

– FlorenceT

 

© 2015 Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

© 2015 Photography by FlorenceT