Ambivalence… and music

Video

There are days when only music will serve, and today’s one of them. Someone very dear to me told me I think too much so today, I choose not to ask about the ‘what’ and ‘why’.

How amazing is the human psyche… our unconscious mind always communicating if only we would listen. Ambivalent day filled with ambivalent(?) songs…?

Enjoy!

 

~ FlorenceT

 

 

 

On this day…

Status

Today we celebrate

  • the Women we have taken for granted,
  • the Women we have loved and lost,
  • the Women who have given us care, love and protection,
  • the Women who have chosen to go their own way,
  • the Women who have privileged our lives more than their own,
  • the Women who have shown us the way,
  • the Women who have sacrificed much so we can be here in this moment in our history.

Today we celebrate Being a Woman, and be reminded of the need to pay attention and be vigilant as we go into our future – to honour the women in our lives.

Let our wisdom guide us to appreciate the beauty of our uniqueness and difference, and our shared humanity.

Happy International Women’s Day!

 

Namaste

~ FlorenceT

 

© 2017 FlorenceT Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

It is not what it seems… maybe

Standard

I wrote an email, somewhat scathing in tone, a few days ago. Entirely justified at the time, I thought. I felt I was being unduly taken advantage of, that the prospective recipient of the email was intentionally obstructive and perhaps malicious, at best unthinking and uncaring. Well, I had to defend myself, don’t I? I am entitled, don’t I? And anyone who knew the circumstances would see this and I would be justified in my action.

But no one saw this email. I did not send it.

My tapping away at the keyboard was cathartic, but catharsis could only go so far in making the situation “right”.

Thankfully, one of my habits is to never send an email drafted during an emotional flux.

Taking a large step back from the finished (but then unsent) email, these were what I realised:

  • Obviously, I was emotional. Of its own, perfectly acceptable and normal. But what happened when the emotions took over …
  • I turned inward and my mind took over. My thoughts revealed me at a low ebb – “I was being unduly taken advantage of”? Really? Have I in that one thought buy into a belief that I was a victim? That I had no say in this? Have I in that one thought about to give way my power?
  • Then, the construction of the “baddie” who was “intentionally obstructive”, “malicious”, “unthinking and uncaring”? This is judgment with a capital ‘J’. I’ll grant that my thoughts, being the rational person that I am, could be correct. Or they might not. But in the moments when I was drafting that email, my mind was closed to any other possibility. It was closed such that I (unconsciously) chose not to see an alternate perspective.
  • And really, what did it matter, if she was or was not? I was there to solve a “problem” not to make judgments about another’s motivations. Why would my actions be guided by anything other than respect for another human being, integrity and compassion?
  • Moving forward in a positive manner requires me to maintain a constructive relationship, moving forward requires me to let go of any and all of the history that could bind me, moving forward requires me to be able to look at myself in the mirror and not cringe or feel compelled to be defensive.
  • And that little voice in my head (?) or my heart said, “you are better than this.”

We have been there, this “feeling small” and “feeling helpless” place.

We have imagined the architects of our misery, rubbing their hands in glee with a malicious grin and gloating.

Well, in those moments we have also handed over responsibility for our self to another and blaming them for not looking after or caring or loving us.

So, this story ended with a phone call, expressing my concerns and being open to a response. The response – the words at least – was as I had expected but there was something else. The response was not “intentionally obstructive”, not “malicious”, not “uncaring”, perhaps a little “unthinking”. Okay, I can live with this, for now. And I (or my ego) would like to say that I had modeled an attitude and a behaviour which hopefully encourage reciprocity. Only time will tell.

What matters most to me is that, it felt right, it felt good, as the email if sent would not.

The lessons, which I keep close to me?

  • Be open to different perspectives and possibilities. There is a world beyond our experiences.
  • Proceed with the empowered self. Our words and actions will reflect this.
  • Let go. We can’t control the future.

 

Namaste.

~ FlorenceT

© 2017 FlorenceT Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

A different love letter…

Image

A letter of love which is somewhat different from the love letters (or emails or texts) that are being written now.  This letter is from 17th century Japan. 

Listen to the language of destiny, where ’till death do us part’ had greater significance, and the voice of dedication, and in particular, gratitude in love.

letter lady shigenari

This letter was extracted from ‘Letters of Note: Correspondence deserving of a wider audience‘, compiled by Shaun Usher. I did a book review on LitWorldInterviews about this book, if you are interested.

Wishing you Love,
– FlorenceT

 

© 2015 Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

Love relationships for Valentine’s Day

Standard

On such a day, I am compelled to write. But of what?

I could write about

  • the commercialism of this day known as Valentine’s Day
  • love renewed because of the call of Valentine’s Day
  • affection expressed when compelled by Valentine’s Day
  • faith in another inspired by Valentine’s Day
  • romanticism, cynic or believer, occasioned by Valentine’s Day
  • the many creative products from the idea of love which inspires Valentine’s Day
  • going through the day unaffected by Valentine’s Day
  • those who are hurt or disappointed on this day and why
  • those who find meaning on this symbolic day.

Love exists in a myriad of relationships, not just those of a romantic nature which seems to be the focus of Valentine’s Day.

So for today, an exploration of love in relationships through meaningful quotes. Perhaps you will find one which resonates within.

Motherhood: All love begins and ends there. ~ Robert Browning

 

Do I want to be a hero to my son? No. I would like to be a very real human being. That’s hard enough.  ~ Robert Downey, Jr.

 

The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is that they have a common enemy. ~ Sam Levenson

 

We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.  ~Orson Welles

 

The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own. ~ Benjamin Disraeli

 

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. ~ Robert A. Heinlein

 

Nature always wears the colors of the spirit. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another. ~ Thomas Merton

 

To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float. ~ Alan Watts

 

None of these is possible, unless we are in a love relationship with ourselves, as it is a necessary foundation upon which other relationships flourish.

Don’t wait for someone to bring you flowers.
Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul.
~ Maria Quintana

 

Whether Valentine’s Day is significant to you or just another day, it means something.

May you have courage to romance yourself, love all that you are.


~ FlorenceT

 

© 2017 FlorenceT Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

Shades lighter #Haiku Challenge 135 @RonovanWrites

Standard

What can I say except “it was unimpressive”.

I know it is not meant to be an award winning movie, rather entertainment with a profit-making purpose (as with any movie made).

It stayed with the central theme of the book, the romance and complex relationship between an apparent young entrepreneur with a dark side and an innocent naïve young woman seeking to maintain her independence.

fifty_shades_darker-trailer-screen2

 

What struck me about this sequel “Fifty Shades Darker” is the moderation of the dominating character of Christian Grey. He has lost his edge and the ‘darkness’ that consumed him. There went the ‘bad boy’. Darker? I think not. Perhaps the film-maker had heeded the outcry that followed the first movie “Fifty Shades of Grey” – that it promoted the physical domination and subjugation of a woman for a man’s pleasure, that it was alright for Ana to be abused – and thus toned it down.

So now we have the tortured soul that is Christian Grey, a man wanting to please, to change in order keep his love; a proud man who would fall on his knees begging for her to stay. As Christian said, he is not a dom, rather a sadist taking pleasure in the pain of others, a trait he would willingly forgo for Ana. And he did. Ah, okay. Love is powerful, it conquers all. Fairytale? You bet, and not a convincing one.

It was more explicit than the first movie in its sexual portrayals though I dare say, not erotic. Somehow the sexual tension is lost, the chemistry between Christian and Ana is lacking. Vanilla.

This movie tries to please, but I am uncertain which audience. It turned out to be neither romance nor erotic and least of all, suspense. Yes, it was painful and not in that way 😉

What is intended to be intense erotic content felt voyeuristic and icky. Here is IMDB’s list of best sensually romantic erotic movies – call it research if you must.

By the way, I did enjoy an evening of movie and drinks with “the girls”, having a laugh. Thank goodness for great company, which more than made up for the lacklustre movie.

And now a haiku, for RonovanWritesHaiku Challenge 135 which can serve as an ode to Christian 🙂

 

sunrise

~ FlorenceT

 

© 2017 FlorenceT Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.