And he never did, even after the many plans that we made; fantasies I now know.

The meeting at the bar in the hotel where I would wait with the excitement of young lovers, restrained familiarity. The coming upon each other on our favourite beach, where he, like me, would love to sit and listen to the waves in. The anticipation of the airport first encounter when he would exit the arrivarolling l hall and into my arms, or more I into his.

There will be no sitting on the deck of our beach home, at peace in each other’s company. No back rubs in the afternoon after a weary day of writing. Those meals we had savoured in our minds, the diverse flavours which our adventurous selves had vowed to experiment. Those carefree mornings, though few but complete with sensuous lovemaking and a bagel and coffee to follow.