suffering

I am certain I could be suffering in many aspects of my life.

I see perpetual frowns and agitation of unmet expectations and desires, of unattainable standards and goals on faces of many close to me. I suppose this post is to make sense of the “whys”.

I suppose I could be suffering if I consider actions of others as a personal affronts or confirmation of their lack of affection, if I consider responsibilities as burdens, if I consider decisions of others only as reactions to me; if I view aloneness as loneliness, if I view intimacy to only derived from romance, if I view a solitary life as incomplete, if I view a examined life as stressful; if I cannot see the beauty of the little things in daily life, if I cannot appreciate the tiny gestures of kindness, care or love, if I cannot trust in the goodness of those around me.

Lack, confrontation, conflict, dissatisfaction…and the discontent, hurt or pain which attends those moments could be amplified to represent this life I live.

Focused on, and I shall call them, the unpleasantness, or making them the reference points of this life would make life tough indeed.

Yet I am far from suffering.

I attend to each moment of this human experience with steadfast pace, meandering at times. Curiosity lightens my steps, hope buoyed my spirit – as I make conscious and responsible decisions as best I can. I am at peace with the outcomes. I can only contribute a little to the betterment of society yet it is enough. Just as I am enough, and so my world. For them, I am grateful.

Perhaps it is a practice of perceiving and experiencing the events bringing discontent, hurt or pain differently – as opportunities to learn or invitations to possibilities, or phenomena beyond our control and letting go.

What do you think?

~ FlorenceT

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