The real test is that your truth should be good for yourself… So don’t play the missionary… Let other people belong to themselves and look after their own improvement… If they are really satisfied, then nobody should disturb them. If they are not satisfied with what they possess, they will probably seek something better…
~ Carl Jung
This is a lesson I am learning. There is no exception – whether “they” are your parents, siblings, children, friends, or people with whom you interact.
Who am I to disturb another’s peace and comfort? Who am I to bring about another’s discontent? Who am I to tell anyone they should adopt my truth?
This is not about not caring. I may make suggestions but I will not impose or judge them or their situation. I am not them or do I know their situation intimately. I will hold my opinion – of what should be done, how it should be done – lightly. I will be there for when they call. I will be there – as the safety net, the shoulder to cry on, the quiet companion,…
We are all living our lives, not everyone with quiet desperation.
This is the spirit with which I hold my sessions as a therapist. I know full well people come to me only when they are not satisfied and are prepared to make changes. It is then that I hold space and support them for change, never imposing my truth.
Should we be different with family, especially our children, or friends? I don’t believe so. The desire to help or direct may surface yet I know them for what they are – an arrogant belief that my truths are the answer to their problems. Do I know better for them? My experiences will never be theirs.
We are looking for our own answers. And we may just need someone to walk with us.
In kindness and compassion,
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