What does it actually mean, for you or another?
Perhaps this poem resonates?
sometimes
I love you means
I want to love you
sometimes
I love you means
I’ll stay a little while longer
sometimes
I love you means
I’m not sure how to leave
sometimes
I love you means
I have nowhere else to go
~ rupi kaur, “home body”
Does it mean I need someone, anyone, you? Does it mean I feel safe with you? Does love mean love?
Is our love transactional or transformative or…?
If it is transactional, then it is about give and take, what we get in return for giving love, whether it is physical, emotional, financial etc.. If the couple or group is agreeable in this approach to love, then there is no harm. Perhaps it may encourage better and explicit communication of our values, needs and desires to each other.
If it is transformational, then our loving and being loved change who and how we are being in our world. A cliché example of a butterfly emerging from its cocoon comes to mind. Our choice to flutter together amidst the sea of flowers requires a confidence and trust in ourselves, to the other, within our environments, and perhaps acceptance of the other’s non-aligning values, needs, desires and ways of doing.
What I think? I make no call on either. It is about my presence in my relationships. Does it contribute positively? Does it harm? Does it compromise me? Navigating the fine balance of prioritising self and self-in-relatioship to others has my attention.
So if love is to be transactional or transformative or somethings else, so be it. If it means changing its nature over time, then that’s fine too.
Living true to myself means more than that… and I am grateful to be able to make choices perhaps others are unable to.
These thoughts popped up as I read the poem above. What does it say to you?
And on a less ‘think-y” note, recent releases I am listening to… pleasurable indeed.
~ FlorenceT
© 2020 FlorenceT Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.
I think love to me would hopefully encompass both the transactional and transformative. But I also think, for some, it could be love simply for love without a need or expectation of a return on investment. That’s not to say it should not be reciprocated but perhaps maybe not to the level the other gives. The investment one I think would depend on the type of relationship.
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