My independent streak has led me to many places, and in my memory, all good or at least, most worked out for the best. It has helped me be a better parent and child, supported my career and my sense of accomplishment.
Yet I am not without a need for support, a desire for someone to share my story, someone to witness my life, someone to shoulder responsibilities at times. And I am not without my fear of the vulnerability this desire provokes.
Independence as a character trait is worth cultivating. It is the spirit with which I carry on my daily living. It however is not the outward show of, what I shall call, non-neediness. I have had my share – the refusal of assistance and the rejection of kind or caring gestures, for fear they might be deemed as “weak” or “soft”. And this stubbornness has led to many unnecessary challenges. “I can do it all” and “I shall do it all” are illusions. The independent spirit isn’t, but the practicality is.
So I have learnt to truly care for myself – body, mind and spirit. To know when to take a step back, when to respond and when not, when to give but not 100% of my energy, when to accept help, when to say no – and act upon them.
When I can stand in both my vulnerability and my strength, then I am whole and authentic.
This awareness and practice is my life-long journey, and continuing.
As Brene Brown states,
“People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses.”
May you also find that line, on the edge of your endurance and capabilities, and be okay to step into your vulnerability. Be a badass 🙂
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