Back on the wagon

Meditation, mindfulness and a good therapist… that should set me straight for the rest of my life 😀

Seriously though, everyone needs a sounding board, someone who would listen without judgment and one whom we trust would do so, someone who knows us and gives us space and the occasional “push” for us to realise our strengths, someone who doesn’t see us just for the things we do and definitely the things we don’t do “well enough”. In short, we all need someone (at least one!) who believes in us – our goodness, our abilities and our vision.

Yet this will be for naught if we are not that for ourselves, first and foremost. Listening to ourselves without judgment, giving ourselves space to explore our inner being and inner life. That’s what mindfulness and meditation do for me.

And I’ve fallen off this “mindfulness and meditation” wagon of serenity lately. I do not shy away from looking at myself, and for me, serenity is the allowing of time to see and the clarity that I then come to, the peace that is felt when I recognize the bigger picture instead of the daily minutiae. I had allowed busyness to take over.

So back to mindfulness and meditation I go.

There is a lesson here on the perfection of imperfection, when I “fail” in my practice. Here’s how it goes. I practice until I don’t. I experience the ripple in the state of being, the unsettled emotional state which gives me a kick in the behind. I feel myself gasping for air and feeling lost. What serenity there was is broken. My body rebels.

That’s when I know I’d stepped off. The true cause is rarely the same, nor are the symptoms. And the irony is each time I “fail”, I become stronger for surviving, I gain greater awareness of self, I get insight into a personal blind spot, I develop greater depth in my understanding of human nature.

I no longer judge myself for my “failures”, for there is none. I am human. I learn.

~ FlorenceT

 

© 2018 FlorenceT Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

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2 comments

  1. I’ve had a similar on-again, off-again experience, and would chastise myself for not being regular in my meditation. Then I noticed one of my teachers suggesting that actions can also be meditation. Or maybe they’d been saying it all along and it finally sunk in. That thought let me notice that everything is helpful. The whole universe is conspiring to raise us to our true greatness.
    Vincent

    Liked by 1 person

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