Being Woman, Nostalgia, Reflection, The Self

Scent and authenticity

I fell in love with it on its first release in mid-2000s and it has been with me ever since. The Bulgari “Rose Essentielle” fragrance evoked romance and glamour, and it was a departure from my then attraction to citrus tones.

But recently, I decided I needed a change. Why? Just because. It was an idea and I went along with it. However, picking a new fragrance is more difficult than I had thought.

Is the scent intended to exude who I am or who I think I am? Or is it meant to bring about the “me” that has been silent thus far? Or is it merely to satisfy my olfactory sense? Will what I feel when I “wear” it matter?

What if the answers to these, proffer different solutions? As I write this post, I am assaulted by the smells the perfume lady had generously sprayed on me. As you probably know, one cannot buy perfume without trying it on your skin. The “smell” that emanates is always a combination of the fragrance and the scent of one’s skin. But I digress.

So there I was, telling the young enthusiastic lady what I was looking for – sensual, light not overpowering, fresh and not intense, and citrus not fruity, floral maybe a little. As she passed me the “samples” sprayed on bits of paper, and eventually on me, I realised my description was off base.

Does this mean my perception of me was wrong? Am I stuck on the old “me” when I have indeed moved on? Or is it merely that my preference has changed, and if so, why? To make matters worse, my daughter loved one of them, declaring “this is so you, Mum”; all the while I was thinking, “no, this does not feel like me”. Am I confused or has the performance of me in relation to her so far off the “me” that I am? Maybe she is right; it is common for others to see us clearer than we do ourselves.

Okay, so your experience of shopping for a new fragrance may be less “thinky” than mine… and probably much more enjoyable.

So two things I’ve had to acknowledge by the end of this baffling activity.

First, I am less a “citrus” woman than a “fresh”, and I may even be “floral”. I have indeed moved on from way before Rose Essentielle. The return to me in other aspects of my life does not equate to returning to “citrus”. It does allow for new visions. For one thing age does change a person in more ways than one.

Second, one should not go along with every thought that comes her way. Rose Essentielle still calls to me. Yes, I want variety, but only if I can be comfortable with it. There is nothing to stop me from having more than one scent, I usually have at least two, but there is something commendable for remaining with what is familiar, safe, comfortable and still makes one feel sensual. It feels like home and I can relax with it.

And while my daughter could be correct in her assessment, until I can embody this “me” she so believes, I will remain comfortable in my skin and evolve with it.

Yes, I am still on the lookout for a scent that represents the intense and fresh-eyed me.  Any suggestions?

~ FlorenceT


© 2018 FlorenceT Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.


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