Why work so hard?

Love is a constant reminder in my life – my people, my environment, my inner life. And I have often worked at distilling what this phenomenon means. As a close friend often tells me, I over-think things. And I even think about why I over-think?!

The “why” is the eternal plague of a mind curious about the reasons, the relationships, the interactions, the patterns…of an unfathomable world. A mind perhaps seeking to see the future, to create some certainty. We can’t ever really know – as a fact – why things are the way they are. There is a subjectivity of perspective. Yet I persist. But why?

Don’t get me wrong, curiosity has been my salvation too. If I can make sense of it, that’s half the battle won. It provides answers to the whys and wherefores of choices made. It is a headlight into a future. And curiosity in the realm of the intellect and knowledge is a pleasure I would not ever forsake, we have all our passions.

But good sense from mentalizing can provide only half an answer.

The mind is after all a memory machine and interprets events retrospectively based on past incidents and cultural conditioning. How often have we told ourselves “this happened because…” and we fill in a story. We are story-telling creatures. The mind is adept at “predicting” or constructing a narrative that is psychologically familiar and safe especially of the future. This assuages the survival instincts still strong within us. But like a computer, the mind is only as good as its input. And given how rational our conscious minds have been trained to be and how unpredictable the world actually is, there are plenty of gaps. Here in these gaps lay the uncertainty, the excitement of anticipation, the acceptance of what is and what will be.

Here is where the other half of the answer resides, in my heart.

My heart will have to trust in the beautiful unfolding of everyday life and in my ability to navigate the uncertainty. There is a knowing that I have no control over the big picture items in life, that I can only choose to be my best in each minute moments of each day. My heart will have faith that my moments (and your moments) influence the big picture, and that I make a positive difference.

I “over-think” in a quest of seeing as clearly as I possibly can,

to be an active and mindful participant in my life

only to arrive at my heart knowing I can only do my best from love.

I am constantly reminded to

relax into my heart, to feel love’s presence and trust in its manifestation.

Heart and mind, will you join me?

~ FlorenceT

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