Well, I didn’t see this coming. Not so soon anyway. Another change. Another transition. But just another day in life’s journey.
I am both glad and sad… perhaps sad is too dramatic. It is certainly poignant. And not for the usual reasons. It is always a thrill to see him exceed my expectations; the determination and independence, the thought process which overrode what I had taken to be impulsivity (which still lingers 🙂 ). Youthful enthusiasm rules the day, and nothing of the “what-ifs” could dampen the spirit or the self-belief that it’ll be alright. My voice of reason verberating like an echo of fear.
So I stopped. For it is fear, even with good intentions.
And I wonder, who am I to dampen the spirit? Did I not tell myself this is what I would not do? My children will not wear my fear or my doubts. Their wings will be buoyed by my trust in their intelligence and good sense. They know enough, and they will learn. My role is to support, and to be the safety net, for now. And for their sake, I sure hope they never have need of it.
Nothing is certain, and I cannot hold onto certainty as proof for change. As I am wont to say, there is so much uncertainty and flux in the world today; tomorrow is harder to gauge or determine. So why ever not?
Take a chance, you are only young once, and you begin free… if not now, when?
Yet a mother’s heart fears. And as I sat meditating on this, after a tumultuous attempt at rationalising and reasoning, I can see no dire consequence to him leaving home. And it is not in me to act on an expectation of the worse of him, or anyone for that matter. Nor of impending chaos and doom. It is time to demonstrate my faith in him.
I honor his journey; that I will help and support, and not impose and hinder. Instead of being the conflict or another obstacle, let me be the third who walks beside him.
Now is the time to truly “walk my talk”.
And the outcome can only be this: that I give him my blessing, and I wish him success and a whole lot of love. Truly, this is so exciting!
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