I feel tired. Weary. It is bone-deep and my spirit wanes. Ever been there – when all you want to do is curl up in bed and sleep. Well, that’s me, and I did just that.
My usual thinking self asked, “why?” Practically I can point to work, to my responsibility as a parent, a daughter and the personal will to achieve as possible causes.
Intuitively however I know these are not the reason. Frankly, I don’t know why. And I don’t need to know why. This weariness is a sign, of change, of transition, of transformation, perhaps. It is incumbent upon me to put the thinker/problem-solver me to rest for now, and call upon the nurturer, the carer who says “go easy” and the spiritual one who whispers “time will tell”.
There is much I would like to do, much to accomplish, much I ought to do… But there is no need.
There is nothing that cannot be put down or pushed back a little. Slow is necessary in this fast-paced on-demand world. Time and tide waits for no one, I agree and the presumption is “no one” is indeed in the race with time and tide. Slow is relative. We can step off the tracks, or choose a different race, or not even be in the stadium. We can have space. If only for a while.
What I can be is to be present in this moment; and within each moment to make the best decision I can. To be mindful to do so with kindness and compassion, for myself and those whom I come into contact. If all I can do in the moment is to “do no harm” and if that is all there is, I am grateful.
As I make my slow pilgrimage through the world, a certain sense of beautiful mystery seems to gather and grow. ~ A C Benson
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