Priority… me.

It’s a life journey, isn’t it :-)? To learn to manage our priorities. In fact, to learn to determine what our priorities are.

Is the spotless living room necessary? Yes, it is a preference, but necessary? At which point of ‘dirtiness’ does cleaning a living room become a priority and go on the list of priorities?

Context changes and something like cleaning becomes a priority or in fact, top priority?! (You can tell I don’t fancy cleaning.) A metaphor for life really. Truly, I am a master of prioritising; when things become ‘sufficiently important’ to become a priority, they will and they move along the list.

I know many who clean, who love cleaning and would prioritise this over say, reading a book. I know women whose identity is validated by the cleanliness of their homes. At times, I envy them their discipline and focus.

I know others who want things ‘perfect’ – the perfect Christmas party based on an image in their mind or preconditioned expectations. How about the perfect family gathering where ‘everyone loves everyone’, no tear visible in the family fabric?

Is this our obsession with perfection? Is this our need for conformity and thus perceived acceptance and belonging? By whom and to what?

So it was that I remained in bed on a Sunday mid-afternoon because my daughter, who has according to herself perfected the art of being a lump, insisted that I should. A family joke, and by definition, a lump is one who is having a lazy day being in bed in her pyjamas and doing nothing serious. (I bet she’ll amend this definition if she gets the opportunity! 🙂 ). Her final words before she left my bedroom were, ‘stop doing stuff’. That’s a red flag – stopped me it did and you are witnessing the onslaught of ‘reflection’.

Whatever my values are about ‘doing’ and ‘effort’, at some point I stopped prioritising ‘me’ in my life. The ‘me’ who loves to read, the ‘me’ who enjoys listening music (and the exploring and downloading associated with it), the ‘me’ who feels a little empty not writing, the ‘me’ who wants to curl up cosy in bed just because.

Context changed, and I was feeling depleted. So time out.

And what have I learnt from this young lady who approaches life with a certain joie de vivre and a whole lot of confidence? Remember to prioritise ‘me’. She does and without apology. Maybe I did ‘do’ something right, 🙂 ?

Which reminds me, how are you travelling?

My willingness to be intimate with my own deep feelings creates the space for intimacy with another.     Shakti Gawain

~ FlorenceT

 

© 2016 FlorenceT Copyright reserved. The author asserts her moral and legal rights over this work.

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8 thoughts on “Priority… me.

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  1. I clean every day, because I hate housework and have better things to do with my time, so a daily fifteen minutes stops the place nagging at me… but I wouldn’t call it spotless… not with the small dog around to keep me rooted in earth (and mud, tennis balls and grass cuttings… 😉 ) “Stop doing stuff” is perfect… and the inner child might well be crying ‘stop buying stuff’ to fill the gaps in lives with holes in because we ‘do’ too much instead of just being .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hat off to you…for being disciplined. ‘Stop buying stuff’ – I will have to pass that onto dear daughter… 🙂 We go for experiences so kinda missing ‘just being’ lately …

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  2. Out of the mouth of babes: Mom, stop doing stuff. lol-You have to appreciate a daughter who sees and speaks up. I totally understand this on so many levels. I love a clean and organized house. It is not really to impress anyone as no one outside of my immediate family is there really. However, it seems to serve me on the level of giving me a space of calmness and order. Now, with that said, I am sure it is still not “clean enough” or “organized enough.” Like right now, I am sure you could sweep up enough dog, cat and human hair and dust to make a small chia pet. And my “exercise/craft/office” office rooms still has unpacked boxes from my move…next to my often used yoga mat. But that is ok. It’s still clean enough and organized enough. And when it gets to a point that I notice it, I will clean. Meanwhile, I make time for me: exercise, reading, baking/cooking, and hanging out with my boyfriend. My space is at home is full of adventure…and a little organized dirt.

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