Checklists are dangerous. I cannot recall, and therefore I am disavowing, ever having a checklist for “the man of my dreams”. “Tall, dark and handsome” wasn’t a thing for my teenage self. Well, maybe tall… Neither was romantic, charming, suave, humorous or tough. I don’t think I have a type, but I do wonder sometimes if it is a huge blindspot I have about my men 🙂
For someone who is “mental” – no, not mental as in crazy, but mental like using the mind a lot – perhaps my requirements are someone who engages my mind, who inspires my imagination, who challenges me intellectually, who is open to and receptive of new ideas and ways of being, who stimulates my creativity. Perhaps the cover is much less important than the content of the book. I suspect even if I had a checklist, it would have evolved and what is now will hardly resemble the list of my pubescent day.
Because here lies the danger of the checklist. We ought to appreciate it for being a list of preferences as our young self believed it to be at that point in time many years ago. By the way, if you recall a list like this in your past or present, what are some of the characteristics you had listed?
Well, the danger is we then take this checklist and make it our ‘truth’ that cannot or must not change. The search then continues for this illusion of the perfect person of yesteryears. For me, needing someone else to fulfill me is a little disturbing, worse if a set of criteria must be followed! When you are present in the moment with your loved one, sharing experiences … loved and loving, does a checklist matter?
Is your checklist of whatever keeping you stuck in the past? Do you have one you would like to get rid of?
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