“I beg your pardon I never promised you a rose garden
Along with the sunshine there’s gotta be a little rain sometime“

I am prompted to write about ‘How do you keep positive’ by Ronovan for #BeWow.

Ideally, we prepare ourselves for the times when a positive attitude is required, when we need to look on the bright side of life. So what do we do? We practice self-care which comes in various forms – meditation is one that comes to mind for me, exercise for some serotonin, get some oxytocin happening (I meant hugs!), reframe our views etc.

Most of us have developed coping mechanisms too, some healthy some not so in the form of dependencies, obsessive behaviours etc.  Please don’t misunderstand – while coping mechanisms may include addictive behaviours, not all addictive behaviours are coping mechanisms. We learn skills, we fill our tool box with tools for those so-called ‘bad’ times. We toughen up or become resigned to our situation, we become cautious and vigilant or intently reckless, we withdraw from or reach out for human connection… well, we know what ours are 🙂

It is not naivete that informs me. Of course it is fantastic to have an arsenal of coping mechanisms, healthy ones which can provide relief in the process of ‘pain and suffering’. However, there is at some point, an acknowledgement, is there not that life can’t just be all rosy… can it?

In our expectation that life ought to be almost always positive and our resistance to prospective negative situations, we can instead be ruled by them. By focusing on the ‘bad stuff’ or their likely arrival, we have taken our eyes off the ‘good times’, the positive things we encounter each day in order to look out for the negative things. Inevitably, we are then still responding or reacting to a negative stimuli.

As with the crest and trough of the waves, life moves on…

We want to ride the waves on the high and the low, and stay afloat. Struggling against the movement of the waves and resisting will only tire us out.  So first we have to accept the waves…of its nature to rise and fall. Acceptance of the rolling waves allows us to enjoy the lull of its rhythm, we allow ourselves to be carried by it…to another place on its journey, all we need to do is stay afloat through the many coping and self-care mechanisms.

So first and foremost, ride the waves! 

I have no idea how I ended up with this given Ronovan’s prompt, guess this is a consequence of going with it :-)!

– FlorenceT

P.S. The above quote is an extract from the lyrics for ‘Rose Garden’, a song made popular by Lynn Anderson in 1971, and yes, I have used it a little out of context. 🙂

The image is ‘Boiler Bay Wave Rolling’ by Mike Dawson.

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