What is love?
My intellectual and philosophical mind says, “depends on what you mean by ‘love’”. What love is is esoteric and undefinable – at least not comprehensively definable. What would become of the mystery, excitement, thrill, fun, joy… if love is objectively definable.
When we speak of love on a human level, it is necessarily an expression towards another subject or object. The continuum of ‘I love candy’ to ‘I love you till the end of life’… 🙂 Love is subjectively definable, if the many love quotes we find on the internet are any indication; they express how one person perceives love. So, some of these quotes speak to me and others don’t.
Why one quote may resonate with me while another doesn’t is perhaps because that is how I perceive love. It is most likely also my default way of expressing love. If I value words, then when I need to express my love, words I will use. Well, I am a ‘deeds’ person – I value the deed one does. This is different from mere doing for the sake of doing, mindlessly, thoughtlessly and meaninglessly. Deeds in this context include elements of intention and attention – for the other.
Let me simplify. If you love someone, show them; and show them through ways they would appreciate or perceive so they will experience your love.
If someone feels loved through receiving, then give him a gift. A little love-note perhaps? If someone feels loved through touch, then lots of hugs for her. The ultimate is for the other to experience your love, not about you showing your love your way.
I have been doing love deeds in the last few days – creating a sense of security and safety for the ones I love, being with and sharing in their excitement, holding them in spirit as they create, as they spread their wings.
I suspect I get something out of doing the love deeds too – which does not undermine the love being expressed. I am not selfless. A thought, who can be selfless? Is selfless something to strive for? A topic for another time…
I must admit, I am not infallible. I can be downright insensitive and ‘oblivious’. And doing some deeds can take more energy especially if I have to step outside my usual ‘default’ mode. Say, if I am a deeds person, and he is a words person, then soothing words might not be as comfortable as making cups of tea 🙂 Yet my attention is on him and do these love deeds with intention. I try. I know I could do different, I could do better perhaps, who is to say. But I am doing my best and for me, that is enough.The wonders of a loving relationship is the understanding and trust that they are doing their best with us in mind.
So, what is love? I have rambled and no closer to an answer. Perhaps love changes depending on the other and your inter-actions. I suspect its definition will always remain elusive.
Here is a quote to end:
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