“A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick.” Brene Brown, “The Gift of Imperfections”
I know I am not alone in this.
All of us have an inherent longing for connection and belonging – to be part of something more, something greater perhaps. Even the recluse needs the connection with her environment to sustain her.
Thus what we say or do, it is for this deep, and often unconscious and unacknowledged, desire for soulful connection and belonging.
For me, it is not singularly targeted. There are times when my longing for nature and solitude is irrepressible that I take myself for long walks in the bush, to listen to the wind through the trees, to just look up and appreciate the immense sky, to be at peace. There are times when my need for intellectual stimulation and exchange of ideas connects me within blogosphere, the collegiate environment and the legal fraternity. Then there are exquisite times for the communion of spirits, of souls, of hearts… and I am privileged to have access to these too.
Where does your soul connection and belonging lay? Where do you go?
Soul connection and belonging is a necessary part of our being. In fact, it is the essence of soul. When soulful connection is absent, we feel lost – anxiety, worry, self-doubt, sadness, hopelessness, dependency, obsession are some ‘conditions’ that can manifest, and we struggle with whether we are “good enough” – good enough to connect or belong to a group or relationship.
So we attempt to regain this connection and sense of belonging, consciously or otherwise, because the soul requires it.
Reflect on what you have done, especially the significant moments in your life. Has it been to impress? To gain acceptance or approval? To avoid being the odd one out? To seek a friend or companion? To not offend? And for what gain? Has it not for some part, if not wholly, to connect and to belong?
And some of us have taken to forging this desire for connection in the extremes – taking risks that endanger or harm. While others have put on strong armour for this pursuit – on one hand wishing for soul connection and on the other hand, already expecting disappointment and perhaps hurt.
So, what are you willing to do for that supposed sense of connection and belonging? Will it indeed bring you soul connection? Or merely an illusion of it?
The test is not whether the ‘how’ is pleasant or unpleasant, good or bad. We can’t ‘do’ soul connection and belonging. Soul connection and belonging happen when the conditions are ripe. We just have to let it be and, most significantly, embrace positive expressions of our desire for this connection and belonging – to be open to possibilities, to be kind, to be generous, to respect, to care, to love. These positive expressions reverberate and its energy rejuvenates. In this space, soul ‘work’ happens – true soul connection and belonging.
Wishing you soul connection,
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