Postaday – Can’t Stand Me
Can’t stand me… never been there.
I’d like to say that I am totally confident and have no body image issue but that would be a lie. It would also be a lie for me to say that I love my face, my body, my voice… absolutely. But I have, so I’d like to believe, a healthy appreciation for what I have and have not. Most of the time, I’m more than OK with a video or audio recording of myself.
The times when I am not OK are when the video recordings are contrived that is, when I was obliged to ‘pose’. If it was candid, I get to see and re-visit the captured moment be they sad or happy moments. Memories are important… they are connections. And whatever my expression was and how I looked, they represent a part of me that I do not regret.
I don’t recall a time when I had cringed at my recorded voice. I remember analyzing it for tone and pitch, but never to be harsh and critical. It doesn’t mean I don’t hear the flaw in the timbre of my voice (I used to sing so I recognize this), or the weakness in the pitch, the hesitation in the delivery. But I am OK with this less than perfect human being, moi. I think it is what makes us ‘textured’ and interesting. Perfection can be boring sometimes, right? 🙂
And as I am writing this and reading it back to myself, I must acknowledge that I have been nurtured to not mind my body, to not mind what others say of physical and vocal standards nor to compare myself, to appreciate and accept me for all that I am. A thought – perhaps I am a performer…perhaps I am not the shy person I believe myself to be…perhaps I am more confident than I think I am.
How’s that for a revelation!